Breathing under water

My life has been flipped upside.

In a few short hours everything has changed.

From the way I see myself to the way I see my family.

From anxiety gripped highs to silent tears to anger that seems all consuming.

I feel alone. Abandoned.

Trying to remember my purpose.

I know God has everything in control.

But getting that knowledge from head to heart is a lot like trying to sleep when you’ve just had a triple shot.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

I keep this verse (1 Peter 5:6-11) and many others on my bathroom wall.

The bathroom tends to be my hiding place when upset so naturally I put encouraging words on the wall in there.

The verse continues reminding me to stay strong because Satan is strong but God is stronger.

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

I’m not saying my fears are insignificant because others have it harder, but it does adjust my perspective.

Everything may be upside down but my kids are healthy, my husband is healthy. I have clothes to wear and food to eat.

The future may be unknown but my faith is on solid ground.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever.

For real, does it get any better?

God will strengthen me and make me stronger through this trial.

Though my world may be upside down God is still holding on to me.

He sees me.

He cares about me, more than I will ever comprehend.

I can’t control everything.

I didn’t ask for this challenge.

But God knows what I am capable of.

He will see me through this. He will guide me and make me stronger.

It made be hard but I will choose to trust him and this path he has set me on.